12 Week Self Remodel – Hearing Is Believing
March 9, 2020 Comments Off on 12 Week Self Remodel – Hearing Is Believing Relationships Tom Burden

While everyone else is doing a ‘New Year New You’ program (there are thousands of them), we offer you a different path. One often less taken. We present to you the 12 Week Self Remodel. Each Monday for 12 weeks we’ll post one thing you can change in your life, easily, to help create the life you really want. Each one is a small adjustment to your existing life, small stepping stones to a better you. As such, they take little effort or time to accomplish. Each one will be posted later in the day, intentionally. Your work week may start on Monday, but the Reclaimed week starts on Tuesday. Less competition for your time, and less stress (also something to look forward to on your Monday commute). So, let’s begin.

Week 9 – Open Your Ears and Expand Your World

It’s been said that most people don’t communicate, they wait their turn to talk. While I don’t often do this, it’s been my experience that some people are simply listening for their turn to talk, not truly hearing what I have been saying. I’m sure it’s happened to you, too. So let me ask the obvious question – how do you feel when it happens? Kind of like you’re not really there, right? How often do you think it happens that you didn’t really acknowledge?

The most important question of all – how often do you do it? Be honest.

Fact is we all do, and far more often than we realize. It’s growing increasingly more common as we become more and more disconnected from each other. It strange to say that – given we are more (electronically) connected than ever before. Which is in large part the problem. Do you really notice the barista behind the counter giving you your morning brew? What was it she said to you? How often to you really actually acknowledge the people around you, even when they are talking to you? Especially when they are talking to you. I’m betting you want to revise your original answer now. As I said, we all do it.

Problem is, we do it to our family and friends, too. To our loved ones, and coworkers. For most of us, it’s become the norm, even if we’re not yet ready to acknowledge it. Whether you’re willing to admit it fully to yourself or others, you do know it happens.

I’m going to challenge you – and it will be a challenge. Once a day, select one person and open your ears to them. For no less than 30 minutes, listen to what they have to say. Speak only when necessary, instead listen to them. Hear the tone of their voice, the words they choose, the cadence of their speech. All of these are part of their conversation with you, parts you often don’t take in as you half listen to what’s being said, waiting your turn. For no less than 30 minutes, don’t wait your turn. Give it away. Carry a conversation, instead of exchanging turns.

At some point you may find you even notice when your barista gives you a genuine smile and says they like your shirt. The strangest thing of all, you might actually find a smile is an adequate response.

Let us know how you’re doing on the Self Remodel in the comments below.

< Week 8  –  Week 10 >

About The Author
Tom Burden Tom Burden is a father & husband, martial artist, author, sexual advocate, male advocate and female advocate, and a trained conservation biologist. He is the founder of Reclaimed Masculinity, and co-founder of Central Aikido and Seishinkan Iaido Warrensburg, as well as other business enterprises. He is a longtime student of somatic and embodiment practices, with deep study into the mind, the human body, spirituality, and the environment. He currently resides in Missouri with his wife and daughter.